mindshifting conversation circle
You Have a Conflict Style.
Do You Know What It's Costing You?
A free 45-minute guided conversation for teams, groups , and communities. Pick any session. Start anywhere. Everything you need to host - included.
Most of Us Handle Conflict the Same Way Every Time — Without Realizing It.
What's Your Conflict Style?:
A MindShifting Conversation Circle
You Don't Have to Be an Expert. You Just Have to Be Willing to Start.
A Conversation Circle is a 45-60 minute guided discussion where a small group explores a MindShifting concept together — not through a lecture, not through a workshop curriculum, and not through assigned reading.
Just people talking honestly about how they show up in tough conversations, what they've noticed about themselves, and what they'd like to do differently. The conversation does the work. The host just opens the door.
You don't need a background in conflict resolution. You don't need to have read the book. You don't even need to be good at handling conflict (yet). You just need to care enough to start a conversation — and this kit gives you everything else.
Every kit includes: a host playbook, icebreaker options, a guided conversation arc with discussion questions and timing, a troubleshooting guide for the unexpected, a closing script, and print-ready participant materials.
Think about the last time you disagreed with someone. Did you push back? Give in? Change the subject? Split the difference? Try to work it out together?
Most of us do the same thing almost every time — and don't even realize it. Researchers call these our conflict styles. There are five of them, and while we're all technically capable of using any of them, most of us default to one or two automatically, regardless of whether they're the right fit for the situation.
That default — whatever it is — has an upside. It's also costing you something. And the people you work with, live with, and lead are doing the same thing from their own default, often without knowing it either. The result: two people locked into their habitual approaches, wondering why nothing ever seems to change.
Style 1: COMPETE - 'We're doing it my way.' Direct, decisive, fast. Gets things done. Cost: damages relationships, shuts people down.
Style 2: AVOID - 'I'd rather not deal with this.' Keeps the peace. Cost: nothing gets resolved, issues compound.
Style 3: ACCOMMODATE - 'Whatever you want is fine.' Preserves the relationship. Cost: builds resentment, you become invisible.
Style 4: COMPROMISE - 'Let's each give a little.' Practical and fair. Cost: nobody fully satisfied, solutions often temporary.
Style 5: COLLABORATE - 'Let's figure this out together.' Strongest long-term results. Cost: takes more time and energy.
What Your Group Will Explore
Phase 1 — Recognize It (20 min): The group explores their default conflict style. Does your style change depending on who you're with? Has anyone been on the receiving end of someone else's style and wished they'd done it differently?
Phase 2 — Understand It (15 min): The group digs into the costs and benefits of their defaults. What does your style protect? What does it cost over time? Has your usual approach ever completely backfired?
Phase 3 — Try It (15 min): Think of a disagreement coming up in your life. Which style would actually serve you best in that situation? What would it feel like to try a style you don't normally use?
Get the Conflict Style Conversation Circle Packet
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People leave this session with a new lens: not just 'what's my default?' but 'is my default serving me right now — and if not, what's available?'
What's Inside the Kit?
Host Playbook - prep checklist, timing guide, and facilitation tips
3 Icebreaker options - The Lineup, The Person Who Changes You, Wins and Whoopsies
Guided Conversation Arc - three-phase discussion guide with questions and timing
Host's Guide to the Unexpected - facilitation troubleshooting
Closing Script - ready-to-use wrap-up transitioning to participant takeaway
Participant Concept Overview - the five conflict styles in full, with descriptions
Participant Takeaway Sheet - all five styles + Three Things to Notice This Week
Keep Exploring page - books, courses, and free tools (with QR code)
Who Is This For?
Anyone Who Can Gather a Few People and Ask a Question.
Conversation Circles are designed to be accessible to any thoughtful person who wants to create space for real conversation in their community, team, classroom, or living room. You're not the expert — you're the host. The difference matters.
Team leads and managers building psychological safety
HR professionals and OD practitioners
Educators and school counselors
Book club organizers and community group leaders
Coaches, therapists, and facilitators
Parents bringing MindShifting into the home
Anyone who's ever thought: "We need to talk about this, but I don't know how to start"
If you've ever wanted to create a space where people feel safe enough to be honest, curious enough to listen, and brave enough to try something different — this is that space.
